What's It All Mean?

Giving the Bride Away

Back when a daughter was considered her father's possession, some formal transfer was necessary during the wedding ritual. (At one time, old shoes -- themselves a symbol of ownership and power over a woman -- were actually thrown at the bride by her father to symbolize his yielding possession of her to the groom!) Today, the custom symbolizes the parents' acceptance of the bride's passage from child to adult, and a sign of their blessing of her marriage to her chosen groom.

The Veil

Veils were originally meant to symbolize the virgin bride's innocence and modesty. These days, our society considers the veil a purely romantic custom. But in parts of the Middle East and Asia, the veil is still used to hide the bride's face completely. The first lace veil is said to have been worn by a woman named Nelly Curtis, George Washington's adopted daughter who married one of his aides. Apparently, the first time the aide ever saw her she was behind a lace curtain. He was mesmerized by her beauty. Nelly, the story goes, made herself a lace veil for the ceremony in an and effort to duplicate the effect.

Invitations and Thank You cards should be hand addressed and Thank You cards hand written. This shows your friends, family and guests that they are important to you and that you care for them. If you generate labels on your computer, it may be convenient, but it shows your guests that you care little about them.

 It is also impolite to ask guests for gifts, as though it were a pre-requisite to coming to your wedding or reception, and therefore,  including where you are registered on your invitations is not proper etiquette. Let them know this information through your mother-in-law or mother when they call and personally request this information.

The EVERYTHING WEDDING ETIQUETTE BOOK by Emily Ehrenstein and Laura Morin